Logo

Money For People

  • bg
    SAVE OUR PILLOWS
    Because even pillows need rescuing from excessive fluff.
    Donate 1 Dollar to Keep Pillows from Becoming Cushions.
    Your Donation Won't Make You Poor (But Your Pillow Will Thank You).
  • bg
    PROTECT OUR LEFTOVERS
    Stop the tragedy of wasted leftovers. Every piece of pizza matters.
    Donate 1 Dollar to Keep Leftovers Fresh.
    Your Donation Keeps Food From Becoming a Midnight Snack Tragedy.

EMPOWER THE LAZY

We believe in supporting those who need a little extra motivation—like people who just don't feel like doing much. Your donation ensures they can continue their important work of lounging around.

BUILD STRONGER PILLOW FORTS

Your contribution helps create sturdy, luxurious pillow forts for adults who never outgrew the joys of living room fort engineering. Because everyone deserves a soft, structurally sound escape.

INVEST IN FUTURE PROCRASTINATION

Our goal is to ensure future generations have the resources to put off important tasks until the last possible moment. By investing today, you can help tomorrow’s procrastinators delay with confidence.

img02

BASKET WEAVING CAMP

This prestigious camp is designed for individuals who want to master the ancient art of underwater basket weaving. Warning: staying dry is not an option.

img02

INVISIBLE DOG TRAINING CAMP

For the most discerning pet owners, this camp offers expert training for invisible dogs. If you’ve ever had trouble keeping your non-existent pet in line, this camp is for you!

PROJECTS STATUS

COFFEE FOR CEO's FUND

Providing executive-level professionals with premium, artisanal coffee. Because who needs caffeine more than the people already making six figures?

LUXURY VACATION RELIEF FUND

Sending overworked social media influencers and reality TV stars on the luxury vacations they absolutely deserve after a hard week of posting selfies.

PET YACHT INITIATIVE

Ensuring that the pets of the rich and famous don’t suffer the indignity of living yacht-less lives. We make sure that every pampered pet can sail in style.

TRUST FUND KIDS SCHOLARSHIP

Because even kids with multi-million-dollar trust funds need a little extra help paying for college. Why struggle when The Human Fund can step in?

HELP A KID FIND THEIR LOST SOCKS

Sock loss is a global crisis. Millions of kids around the world lose one sock and never see it again. Our mission? To reunite those kids with their missing socks, because no sock deserves to be left behind.

Make a Donation

OUR BEST VOLUNTEER

JERRY SEINFELD Senior Volunteer

Jerry Seinfeld brings his dry wit and observational humor to his role at The Human Fund. When he’s not contemplating the absurdities of everyday life, he’s busy ensuring that donations are distributed to "people who need people," though he’d prefer to do it from the comfort of his meticulously organized apartment. Jerry specializes in asking the tough questions, like "What’s the deal with volunteering?"

ELAINE BENES Senior Volunteer

Elaine Benes adds a certain flair to The Human Fund, known for her dance moves and her no-nonsense attitude. As the queen of sass, she’s always ready to tell people exactly what they need (even when they didn’t ask). Whether she’s managing donations or attempting to get her friends to stop eating all the charity event snacks, Elaine is always up for a challenge—especially if it involves something free.

COSMO KRAMER Senior Volunteer

Cosmo Kramer, or just "Kramer," is the wild card of The Human Fund. He’s an idea man, always thinking up the next big thing to bring in donations (though most ideas involve using butter as a base). With his unique entrances and boundless energy, Kramer has spearheaded initiatives like "Pet Rocks for Pets" and "The Beach: In a Jar." While none have worked, Kramer’s enthusiasm keeps the office… interesting.

NEWMAN Senior Volunteer

Newman’s involvement in The Human Fund is as mysterious as his mail delivery route. Often seen lurking around the office with a suspicious grin, Newman claims his "volunteer work" is all about giving back—but Jerry suspects it’s more about sneaking snacks. His favorite task? Handling donations by mail. Naturally. Despite his questionable motives, Newman’s still a "valued" member of the team… barely.

OUR BACK STORY

George Costanza

ONE FABRICATED DREAM

George Costanza was just a man with a dream—a dream to avoid buying Christmas gifts for his co-workers. One fateful holiday season, in a moment of sheer panic and desperation, he claimed to have donated to a charity called *The Human Fund*. But what started as a clever ruse to get out of gift-giving quickly evolved into something much more profound.

George soon realized that his fabricated charity, "The Human Fund," resonated deeply with him. What if, he thought, people really did just need money? With a heart full of guilt (and a desire to avoid any legal trouble), George decided to make his fake charity a reality. And thus, *The Human Fund* was born. Today, George continues to run the foundation, focusing on causes that often leave people scratching their heads, but hey—he’s doing it for the people.

STAY WITH US

Join *The Human Fund* and be part of something so confusingly profound, it might not even make sense! By staying with us, you’ll get updates on all our bewildering initiatives—like the campaign to reunite socks with their owners and the ongoing fight against too-fluffy pillows. Together, we can make absolutely no impact, but at least it’ll be entertaining!

Don’t worry—we only send pointless but funny updates. Zero spam, 100% confusion.

SEND ANY QUERY

Feel free to ask us anything—especially if it involves invisible pets, missing socks, or anything else we can pretend to care about.